I am kind of not in the world right now. I maybe awake but then in my mind it is sleeping, and dosed off into dreamland. But I need to wake up from that, because when I am like that i don't like to talk or anything. Some days I get annoyed when I am not in my happy modes, but right now I'm not annoyed just dosed off. Sometimes I think of things that might happen but then I go, nah it won't happen. I don't know what going to happen the rest of the day but I hope it isn't bad, but I hope I wake up. Lately I've staying up til' like 1 or 2 doing some homework, but then i fell asleep around 12. Sometimes I don't feel like talking most of the days I'm sad or mad or something. All this, everything that is happening, I mean everything, all around me is like building up on me. Whether I don't know whats going to happen or what I might do. There are some days that I don't like, or some things that I don't like. But I don't think I want to say them, because sometimes I do the things I don't like. I get scared and scared of telling some one about things that are going on. I know why but then I don't want to say them, because I do these things that I don't like. Its not something bad, but something that everyone does and say and stuff like that. I try not to, maybe thats why I talk so quiet or something. I do talk loud but then thats when we are out of class or when I am at home, but then I talk so quiet in class, or when ever I am around people I don't know. I these people here but then I still talk quiet. I know i can talk as loud as I can but then I can't talk as loud in the class, I don't know why. I don't think I can take this any more, well I can but then, its to........I don't know. (sigh). For the past few days were really slow but then started going fast but then still it feels like we've been in school for the past two weeks. It feels like that when it is a Friday or when ever. I'm almost better but then I still feel all, arrgh, something like that. If you read this, don't think its because of you, its because how I feel about things or that it is because of me. Because how I am everyday, depends on how much sleep I get or how the day is going. But I am sorry when ever I am like this, I don't know what to do anymore, well thats most of the time, when I am all sad or mad or whatever it is I am. The other night I was thinking, I wonder how would it be if these people were alive. But then I was like, it's ohk, I will see them some time, when its my time to go. I'm started to think of things like that, maybe for the past 5 days, but then I try not to what you call it. Well I'm ohk now I am going to stop right here now, because I have to go. BYE LATER, PEACE.
2 comments:
Hey Jackie..first, thanks for such an honest and heartfelt post. I really enjoyed reading this and was happy that you put yourself out there.
If there is anything I can do to help you more with homework or if you need someone to talk to I am here for you. You know where I am and you can always talk to me. However, something you have to remember is that you do need to speak up and I'm not talking about class. I really would like you to tell me more how you are feeling about things and what you think of things. Your opinions and thoughts are valuable to me and I enjoy hearing them.
As far as homework goes, perhaps we should talk about a homework time. Homework time would happen at the same time every night and your only responsibilities during that time would be homework. What do you think?
There are a TON of people who care about you. However, we won't ever know how you feel or think unless you begin to tell us a bit more. OK?
Hey,
By the way, this is a good post..
keep it up!
Martha
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